It’s been some time since I did a larger reading for myself. In the good old days when I was a tarot newbie (back in high school in the early 90s) a Celtic Cross was pretty much all I’d do. It just seemed to be the “done thing”. I’ve since learned that smaller readings don’t necessarily give smaller results. If anything, your mind isn’t stretched in so many directions at once, and you can really go deeper into your reading.
That said, in adding some new five-card readings to my shop I decided it was high time for me to do one for myself. I used the Victoria Regina:
The positions are as follows:
1. Me 2. My expectations 3. The unexpected 4. My immediate future 5. Long-term future
I am: the Two of Swords. Somewhat immobilised in my position. There are a few things I find interesting about this card:
- The figure looks pretty pinned and trapped under the two guns.
- But even though he’s trapped, he looks sort of comfortable – almost like he is waiting for a train! Perhaps this passive aspect is key here – is he waiting for someone else to try and get him out of his predicament? In which case, he could be waiting for a while – it might be faster if he did something about his situation himself.
- I’ve recently read (in Ruth Ann and Wald Amberstone’s The Secret Language of Tarot) that two pillars in Tarot can represent something that you have to go through. You know: an initiation, or transformation. A portal. The two guns here aren’t really pillars, but they do look awfully like an arch or gateway, the way they are positioned here. Perhaps they do represent change, and this may be why the fellow in the card is so reluctant to get up from his comfy position. He’s fence-sitting. He’s undecided.
And so – I really am feeling mentally a bit “on the fence”. I’d like to do some distance university papers (philosophy, classical Greek, French), but I always wind up talking myself out of it. Plenty of excuses: no time, hard to organise my life with a toddler in the house… this is most certainly me.
My expectations: The Hermit. I definitely still expect that I am able to find time to retreat, to think, have time for myself, away from the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life. You know, kick back and read some Proust.
As a Majors card, the Hermit indicates that this isn’t just an “I need a break” card, it’s saying that this is a fundamental need that must be allowed to be expressed or filled. It hints at my desires to learn, and do my own thing, to think of my own needs and wants rather than those of others.
Note, however that this card is showing my expectations. Whether or not these actually happen is another story!
The unexpected: King of Cups. Instead of being able to indulge my inner Hermit, I am having to instead acknowledge there are certain emotional demands being put on me that I have to address – specifically by others. I suppose the unexpected aspect of this is that I never really saw myself as a “head of the family” type, having to be strong for others emotionally, and even setting the tone at home.
I never saw him this way before, but the King of Cups really is the Ciff Huxtable of the courts, isn’t he?
My immediate future: The High Priestess. I love the Victoria Regina’s take on this card. It’s so mysterious and beautiful. This is telling me that I can have my secret passions and interests but I can’t completely withdraw like a Hermit might. What’s great about this card though is this doesn’t feel like a compromise. If anything, the High Priestess feels more feminine and realised (as a woman and mother, and a person with my own wants and needs and curiosities and quirks). I can “retreat” in full view, only this way I will be looking inward, and learning about my own inner mysteries.
(Interestingly, I’ve also been reading Paul Huson’s Mystical Origins of the Tarot and he identifies the High Priestess as “radical theories” and “new paradigms,” not necessarily concepts I would have associated with this trump.) It will be interesting to see what aspect of this card manifests in the near future. She may relate to the studies I’m thinking about starting up, as well as my ramping-up Etsy Tarot reading shop. Then again, she might not have anything to do with these “mundane” concerns and instead represent deeper spiritual concerns.
My long-term future: The Lovers. Long-term, the Lovers card indicates a choice to be made, at a fundamental level. (It’s interesting to see which trumps have turned up here, and in which positions.) Is it the choice hinted at the Hermit and High Priestess level? (They both flank the King, which I find interesting.) In any case, the choice being made (or a choice having to be made) also indicates something that will have to be left behind – probably not without some reluctance.
Though it’s sometimes tricky to read into this long-term future card (times like this, all you can really do is make note of it and keep it in mind as you go through your days and weeks), overall it’s reassuring that there isn’t anything concerning in these cards. The Majors do indicate that the situation is an important one to me, and the presence of swords and cups also hint that there’s a head vs heart aspect to this as well.
The cards don’t show a particularly negative outcome, so I am happy in this instance to continue on my current course without making too many changes. It will be interesting to see how it all pans out!